#which ive always been like where
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"You know... You didn't have to take that with you."
"But I promised him I'd take him out to see the ocean one day."
#for context uhmm how do i explain this#so around a few weeks after Jd arrives Bruce is like âHey... where are the others?â#and Jd is like âooooh đ€Șđ€Ș he doesnt know...â#Since at this time JD believes that the entire tribe is dead. including his brothers and grandma#so Jd has to take Bruce to the now abandoned troll tree and give him the bad news#Bruce doesnt believe it at first. even if the tree is abandoned they cant be dead? right?? they cant be#so he rushes over to their grandma's pod. thinking that theyre just in hiding and waiting for them to return#and all Bruce is able to find in the empty pod is Branch's old stuffed toy Croco#which solidifies to Bruce that everyone is dead. their friends their family. everyone#Bruce is obviously devastated by the news. he doesnt show it a lot but he doesnt take it too well#he ends up bringing Croco with him back to Vacay Island and patches Croco up#since Croco is a bit worn out due to being left in the pod for years#and since then Bruce always keeps Croco hidden in his hair. both as a memoir of his baby brother#and also a reminder of how he failed as an older brother... ouch#ofc the others arent dead. its just that now both Jd AND Bruce believe that the rest of the trolls are dead#also King Trollex is there bc i wanted to put him there. I like Trollex :]#a knee ways more bb au art i promise the next bb au art will be lighthearted#tho now im gonna work on the next violet gijinka batch bc ive been starving my friendlocke audience for too long#sorry friendlocke fans ill feed u next dw#cherris canvas#trolls#trolls band together#trolls john dory#john dory trolls#trolls bruce#bruce trolls#king trollex#beach bros au#sorry for rambling in the tags i hope u dont mind ahaha
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#âalright talk to me what do we got?â with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#âthe purple one you always bringâ maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#âuh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?â maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#âthis is salmon and rye bread đâ â(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that đâ â(charmed) and so is that đ«±â#âill try your favourite firstâ GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#âsalmon and rye breadâthats the famous one đ€â [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#âherringâ âherrin' đ€ ?â âeating all this her-RINGâ no notes#âis this just another salmon on rye breadâ he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#âdifferent salmon? smoked?â the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#âi still love your country thoughâ and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews âjokesâ BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#âwhat the hell do i do with this thing?â MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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@openphrase123 your fanfic(s but i mainly made art of the mira and siffrin one because i cant remember words for the life of me for i do not speak french) IS???? ? SO GOOD. SO GOOD IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH finally something to look forward to in the week fr
Mild spoilers for it ig!! But nothing too explicitly groundbreaking i dont think it'll kill your mom to look at these without having read the ff first
Don't mind the shit quality i??? I drew all these so fast theyre kinda shit and i have yet to fully acclamate isat to my artstyle so it's mid
Teehee me when i make shitty rushed fanart to show my appreciation that i cannot put into words for my faovorite games and also authors
peep the rant in the tags
#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#god ive been obsessing over isat lately#its terrible how ive been feeding into it#ffs of it be having me giggling running around because siffrin is healing#not in this particular one though#at least not at the part thats written rn#i do love seeing them suffer in equal parts#siffrin my scrimblo i will microwave you#a mosquito is in my room as im typing this girl gtfo#slight spoilers for this fanfic i suppose#okay so THE FANFIC BROO that part where sif lets mira pick his name?! makes me think that sponsors always pick the names#hence why sif never got a new name and spica feels outdated#also i love LOVE seeing mirabelle get better and better at yk... remembering#needing sif to reintroduce themselves every time is such a creative way to do like a pseudo timeloop#everything was so neat#upset that i cant do them justice in drawinng though i have very little experience drawing black hairstyles#or like being around black people with such hairstyles which is a shame!! i would wanna get a better look at the texture and the variation#BACK TO THE FF i literally read this to my older brother out loud (thank god i managed to pester him to play Isat)#and my throat got so raw from speaking that i had to stop but then itd get to another cool detail and i HAD to tell him#so my throat pain? your fault not mine nuh uh not the lack of self control#case in point thanks a bunch for writing!! i wanna get as good at that as you at some point
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okay on another related topic, the parable being this very much living thing that acts on its own accord very often in the game. there are characters that can directly control or alter the game/parable, but then the parable can do just as much itself when there's no one taking the reigns. and it will, it very much will do what it needs to do to keep the wheel turning. just something fun to interpret and stew on..
#the stanley parable#tspud#sorry for throwing another post into the tags. very chatty it seems#i think its important to note that there are characters that directly try to turn the wheel#like settings person. but there are situations where in which the parable seems to push its way to give us a choice#via the other room in the zending just appearing without the narrator realizing it.#sorry piranesi and house of leaves has me thinking about sentient buildings today.#this is very much a thing that has always been true to the games. it just often mashes with other topics.#this is at least how ive come to interpret the parable. not to say that it does do this but. its fun to think of it this way
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Whenever I pick up a Lloyd LEGO set and see a blue figure included I like to try and ignore it and play a game of "is it gonna be Jay or Nya?" and not find out until I get to build it
(It's a win-win situation everytime - i love them both <3)
#this is coming from my current situation of#âfinally got round to building 2 sets ive had for a little while now which are both Lloyd sets#& ive only just realised one has Jay & one has Nya - i thought they were both Jayđ§ââïžâ#im slowly realising that Jay & Lloyd are actually paired up quite a bit?#like this is my 3rd set with these 2#and i DID google it (shush) and they're together in 19! sets!#(including ones where theres like a 3rd or 4th person & âfull teamâ sets)#but like still?? i just didnt expect it#they're not exactly the first 2 ninja i think to pair together/as a pair? idk i like it though#(jay was my fav when i first started before it turned into Lloyd so theyre both very special to me)#i just thinks it funny bc i always tend to pick up Lloyd sets so i keep getting bonus Jay's#its also literally been the ONLY way ive ever gotten Nya minifigures - including those dragon core spinner things with the rgb siblings#is she paired up with him more? bc ive definitely seen people talking about that - idk#i wonder who the most paired up pair isđ§ââïž#hmiae rambles#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago sets#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#ninjago jay#jay walker#ninjago nya#nya smith#nya jiang
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#sso#ssoblr#my art#star stable online#sso anne#anne von blyssen#sso concorde#ive been dealing with the battle of âwell if i hadnât done this then x wouldnât have happenedâ#and i rationalize that#but then next comes âwell if i hadnât done this then it wouldnât have caused y which caused xâ#but i warn you be wary because this mindset does not help you with anything#eventually you get back to the spot where you are a little kid who made a choice to play in the sandbox with someone#it was not your fault#the fate of your world and the world around you does not in fact rest on your own shoulders#sometimes things happen because they do#not because you caused it#or because you did something to provoke the cause#sometimes life is simply going along#like concorde says: âbut evil may have the final sayâ#it cannot always be the good say; or in other words your ideal say#it can cause more upset feelings but let it rest in you that sometimes there was nothing you could do#and everything you were able to do was enough
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Yessss keep repeating that Batman didn't kill the Joker in The Dark Knight Returns as much as you want. Way too many people seem think he did and use it as justification for why Batman should kill.
#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#tuesday spoilers#dark knight returns#yes im talking about zack snyder#but i think iirc he said he liked tdkr because batman killed in it#which ive always been like where? joker snapped his own neck at least zdarsky gets that is what happened#but a lot of others seem to think he killed him there too which like i said isn't what happened#and ive only read tdkr once myself because tbh not a fan but even i understood and remember what happened#some people i think just read what they want to
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listen to me. listen.
sometimes things are better when theyre worse.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#primarily talking about this in a worldbuilding perspective rn#where it irritates me a lot#when people treat the world being created being flawed or messy or ugly or hypocritical as like. a sign of the worldbuilding being bad.#like. no. this is ultimately why i hate a lot of wish fulfillment media.#because i dont want my fictional worlds to be perfect and exactly what id want and where i want to live#i want them to feel lived in#which is an entirely different metric#and too many wish fulfillment media feels so divorced from life and the ordeals of life that it makes me panic#and think far too much about for whom this would be a hell onto itself that they would never touch#and it feels far more sincere and Accurate when you acknowledge that. yeah. those people do and will always exist#and god knows ive been them plenty of times before#it feels better when the world is already flawed in the ways that everything is already flawed
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lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and youâre not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall
idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...
to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"
but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics
"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"
and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."
But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-
And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"
and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really
Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)
And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.
and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)
And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*
but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)
and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far
"You should really use your words."
"I am!"
"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."
"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"
"Sasha isn't most Alphas."
"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashesâthe exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"
"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."
"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.
"It would work better if you useâ"
"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.
like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know
#ask#i dont think we nearly take enough advantage of maffhew going to a catholic prepatory school#my friend who went to catholic schooling his whole life until highschool (where we met) dropped the bombshell of the door thing on me#to which i went you have to be fucking with me that cant be real and then i was like well i guess its good we're both boys then-#and then he goes oh my mom knows im queer the rule applies to boys too#and i just nervously looked over to the door knob like well uh maybe we should open the door? i dont want your mom to be mad-#and he was like oh shes convinced we've been fucking since we met so this is allowed youre the only boy she lets do this (the door thing)#a couple of years later when he moved out i found out friends weren't allowed over if he was alone in the house but i was the only exceptio#and i felt like the equivalent of a roving tomcat who keeps wandering into the gardens and got the neighbours cat daisy pregnant#i dont think i could ever look that woman in the eye after all that#this is all to say catholic schooling does things to you man#anyways i do have to reiterate every kitty is fucking each other on a normal basis and in an abo au it gets even worse#making our whorehouse a whorehome#ive always said this but flirting with a virgo is like flirting with a brickwall#actually thatd be an insult to the brickwall because at least the brickwall would give you something to work with#the humble virgo looks you in the eyes before they crush your ego with a single word and youre like thank you mistress may i have another#i feel for maffhew i really do#theres just so many funny ways this just goes terribly wrong because both maffhew and sasha are inherently messy people#matthew and sasha on a team outing sat next to each other in a booth and matthew gets a little tipsy and starts rubbing his cheek#on sashas shoulder and sasha is just looking over to benny like please. help. and benny just snorts and blatantly ignores#him as he continues to sip on his beer and sasha just turns to ekky and silently pleads with his eyes. PLEASE. HELP.#ekky huffs and looks away very much not thrilled about being involved in any form whatsoever and hes not gonna change his mind about this#*5 minutes later* and ekky finds himself switching spots with sasha with a cuddly maffhew on his arm and he's a little disgruntled about it#but its very hard to stay upset when maffhew keeps mumbling about how nice he smells and keeps trying to scent him#all over like he has any right to lay a claim when hes been in the pack for such a short time#and yeah okay maybe he preens a little bit at the compliment like just a little#and maybe he does like being treated like a glorified scratching post but matthew doesnt need to know that (matthew knows that)#well anyways
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My review of Miraculous Ladybug S5 so far is that it has a lot of scenes that I like in theory, but in action just end up being very silly and way over dramatic
#that being said. i love them all the same#genuinely obsessed with this show#but man it handles everything in such an odd way#they always spend so much time talking about nothing for the first 75% of the episode#and then the last 25% hikes up the drama to 100 and its always so abrupt#'illusion' is an excellent example of this lol#that episode had such a strange and sudden tone shift#its bizarre that the episodes are 22 minutes long but still barely manage to say anything#this is all technically criticism but make no mistake. i wouldnt have it any other way#this is truly the peak of miraculous ladybug. this is what it should ALWAYS be#so far i dont think theres been an episode where ive been particularly BORED. theyve all got a little spice to them#which i appreciate#well. i kinda didnt like the first 2 episodes. those were just a lot of running around#but everything after that has been exactly what i wanted#tldr: the pacing is weird and i wouldnt change a thing#my notes document on this show is up to 8 pages. ive never had as many opinions on a show as I do this one#im a certified miraculous stan
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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having a good day is so wild like what do you MEAN I'm not miserable and unmotivated and crushingly apathetic and absolutely exhausted brain fog just want to sleep???
#makes me realise oh. i am not well normally#whoops#i think. i think its side effects from the birth control which im supposed to give three months to stabilise#i do not think it was always this bad#the trouble with me is i cannot ever remember what it was like before#like ive never been good since i was about eleven#but i think this is a higher level of bad for me#worst thing is its still better than it was before#i could not continue having one week of every month be absolutely world consuming depression having to fight so hard to keep myself safe#that was just not continueable#so we tryin#cos yeah its shit and there's been periods where i can barely function#but ive been safe#and its not been all consuming#and its definitely got better so fingers crossed đ€#the world doesn't hurt today and things are relatively easy#i dont get that very often and it's nice#ANYWAY pity party over lmao#many others have it so much worse#mine
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just had a gender feeling that isn't 'awful man-beast-thing' and im like woah where did that come from?
#text#calyx.txt#i know collectively our system has been leaning towards like nonbinary lesbian / woman to the left#but ive always been like. concretely man-aligned. which makes sense due to like. the nature of where i came from as an alter.#so im like hey. hey. what. *turning around* is someone there? stop influencing me. i'll get you for that.
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rotating noelle around in my brain. i need the dess raises kris au to be real RIGHT NOW.
please talk to me about the dess raises kris au i think im gonna explode. also start writing it this summer maybe :3333
#chatter#drkau#posts that need context. basically despite being called 'dess raises kris' neither dess nor kris show up for the first arc of the story lol#it would cover dark worlds 1 + 2 + 3 which i would make up#and its about noelle susie and ralsei being the three closing dark worlds and becoming besties#BUT ALSO so ive always worried id never be as excited about noelle as kris#n thus do her poorly when shes literally like one of the main protagonists#BUT NO. IM GOOD NOW. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM GONNA DO WITH HER#what do you do when your entire family has been defined by a grief you dont feel. by the death of a sister and friend you dont remember#what do you do when their grief shapes the form of your life and you keep bucking against it#because now youre the baby of the family and everything is On You#and you finally FINALLY find somewhere where you can maybe be someone#only to find out that that world never wanted you either. that world wasnt ever supposed to exist for you#what the fuck are you supposed to do#ANYWAYS NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR....NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR I LOVE YOU.....#(ps yes she gets a hyphenated name i wonder what might lead to this....)#(pps no i dont know what kris's last name is in this au skull emoji#chara would take dess's when they get married but dess wouldnt keep holiday (or let kris keep dreemurr)#cause she did. technically. kidnap them oops)#ANYWAYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU LITERALLY SHAKING IT AROUND LIKE A DOG WITH A CHEW TOY
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so this is pathetic of me but does anybody wanna help me learn to become a better friend let me befriend you and we make sure we always talk/text in someway everyday even if its just once like no matter what we always check in w each other? i think iâm gonna try bumble friend thingy but maybe thereâs a mutual here who feels the same way as me
#ive been trying to do this w my bestie but sheâs also super depressed#so its not easy for her either which is why weâll always be friends but i really want to like be more open to connection so#platonic connections and friendships definitely feels like where i need to focus#iâm like super awkward and i feel like iâm bad at conversations but hopefully i can get better and more confident with that lol#idk how to make friends or meet new people as an adult
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